Learning & Connections Enhance Self-Leadership

The second blog of this series will discuss the importance of knowing yourself. Knowing yourself and your path is essential, even if you are currently in a leadership role. How do you find your challenge? Or redefine what is possible? We will start with minor miracles and the key to making enemies disappear. These skills will help you better understand yourself and more effectively lead others.

 Determining Your Passion

Today, many successful people start their careers without a plan or objective. However, knowing your path is essential for future endeavors, whether in a leadership role or the middle of your career. Growing into leadership begins with self-leadership–discovering what drives you. It is essential to realize that there is no linear path to a job, nor is there a definite turning point in which you fully understand what it takes to succeed. Although some people actively pursue their passion, others have various interests. Your ability to be flexible can lead to a rewarding career realized later in life. So, if you want to be successful and a leader of tomorrow, reject stereotypical thinking, break out of your comfort zone, take risks, keep your future options open, and be patient. In short, take every opportunity to learn and develop a stronger sense of the kind of work you don’t want to do.

Redefining Yourself

When discussing redefining yourself, I am talking about an essential word, “reframing.”  Reframing is simply the art of seeing familiar things in a new light. People typically fail to realize that the limitations they are experiencing are usually self-created and can be overcome. Reframing is about developing a new mental landscape, which can lead to new and creative ideas.   This reframing may seem like a challenging task, but you shouldn’t worry. This is a learnable skill and essential for personal development. It starts with opening yourself up to new perspectives, which can mean new people or connections. Meet new people, swap new ideas, and learn from people outside your organization or your usual circle. When you become an organizational leader, you can help others find these sources of new people and ideas. Suppose you are a bit shy and introverted, like me. In that case, you can study the lives of entrepreneurs, inventors, and other geniuses. This may spark ideas about reframing your life or business.  

Redefining yourself requires reframing, which frees your mind from false assumptions and allows you to break free from stereotypical thinking about yourself or others. 

 Starting with Minor Miracles

Start with minor miracles, easy jobs, tasks, or projects that can afford you learning opportunities and wins before taking on the more formidable challenges, leading to more significant opportunities. Often, jobs or projects can provide tough and unpredictable challenges, which, in turn, leave you with unexpected opportunities from which to learn. This means taking any and every opportunity to learn. One of the best ways to learn and find these minor miracles is to find official and unofficial mentors. Mentors can come along without planning or searching, but remember that mentorship is a two-way relationship. As you learn to lead yourself, look for others whose examples, experiences, and insights you value. Also, keep in mind that there are also unofficial mentors. For example, leaders who teach you what to do and what not to do by their actions without assuming the mentor role.   

Start with minor miracles by exposing yourself to new ways of learning, different types of businesses, and a diverse group of people to learn from.

Making Enemies Disappear

So, how do you make your enemies disappear? This question is not cynical; it is about you assuming positive intent.

Everybody encounters someone who seems to be standing in their way, whether a rival, incompetent colleague, demanding clients, or unfair supervisor. The temptation is to react with anger and blame the organization or their personal bias. The answer, though, is to assume that these people who make you angry are motivated by positive intentions. This concept resembles Michelle Obama’s “when they go low, you go high” concept. So, when handed a difficult task at work that you think unfairly gets put on your lap, try to learn from it and record the results. Ultimately, you can ask for a promotion or raise for your accomplishments. Another critical concept is: “When you are itching to say something to someone – don’t.” Saying something comes off as defensive and hostile and appears as if you are being combative.   Instead, assume the people talking are uninformed, insensitive, or unaware and find a polite way to educate and enlighten them.

Making enemies disappear requires positive intent to help avoid needless conflict and turn adversaries into allies. This also helps alleviate the stresses of every day, making teams more productive and successful. 

My Story  

What do these concepts look like in real life? Here is my brief story regarding leading myself. I had a career path picked out for me since I was in grade school: to be an elementary school teacher. That path changed when the university I attended didn’t offer a degree in elementary education. So, I altered course and used other passions of mine to obtain a degree. I would even argue that I am still searching for my perfect job today. I have learned through my career journey and self-discovery that connections are essential. I am a personable and strategic person, especially when it comes to mentors and my “board of advisors.”  I am still connected to people from my first job who have helped me obtain other jobs or given me recommendations and connections to other opportunities. I have also learned that sometimes quitting and leaving opportunities is okay. I left my great full-time job to start my consulting firm to have a more significant impact on nonprofits and their communities. Although I am still going through self-discovery and learning, I have taken every opportunity to meet new people and develop new skills. This is part of being a good leader – learning, constantly developing skills, networking, and knowing when to admit faults.

Stay tuned for the next blog in two weeks, which is on leading others with discussions ranging from solving problems, reframing business leaders, asking questions, building teams, and finding your leadership voice.